How to do a ‘State of the Union’ in your relationships

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel disconnected from your partner? Or maybe you’ve noticed some recurring issues in your relationship that you’d like to address? If so, it may be time to have a ‘state of the union’ conversation with your partner.

A ‘state of the union’ is a conversation that allows couples to check in with each other and discuss the state of their relationship. It’s a chance to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and listen to their perspective. Here are some steps to follow when having a ‘state of the union’:

Step 1: Pick a time and place

Choose a time and place where you and your partner can have an uninterrupted conversation. Make sure you are free from distractions and can focus solely on the conversation.

Step 2: Set the tone

Start the conversation by setting the tone. Let your partner know that you want an open and honest conversation about your relationship. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings as well.

Step 3: Discuss the positives

Begin by discussing the positives in your relationship. Talk about the things that are going well and what you appreciate about each other.

Step 4: Address the negatives

Next, address the negatives. Talk about the things that are causing issues in your relationship. Be specific about your concerns, and try to avoid blaming your partner.

Step 5: Brainstorm solutions

Once you’ve identified the issues, brainstorm solutions together. Discuss what you can do to improve your relationship and work through any challenges as a couple.

Step 6: Make a plan

Finally, plan to implement the solutions you’ve come up with. Set some goals and establish a timeline for achieving them. Make sure both of you are committed to following through with the plan.

Remember, a ‘state of the union’ conversation is an ongoing process. It’s important to have these conversations regularly to keep your relationship healthy and strong.

So, if you’re feeling disconnected from your partner or notice some recurring issues in your relationship, try having a ‘state of the union’ conversation. It may be just what your relationship needs.

Want to go a little deeper about how your attachments affect your relationships? Check out the Codependent to Secure, Sexy, and Self-Esteemed workbook!